


Jaune, you useless heterosexual.

by biologuy



Category: RWBY
Genre: Ace and Aro August, Ace!Ren, Aro!Nora, Other, Unreliable Narrator, like its jaune from the third person, my writing style is weird just roll with it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-24
Updated: 2014-08-29
Packaged: 2018-02-14 11:42:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2190384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biologuy/pseuds/biologuy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaune learns a valuable lesson about meddling with people's relationships and hetero/allonormativity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> so disclaimer this is for ace & aro august which is why i didnt tag it with any pairings, although some might come up in the background.  
> this is about the experience of being aromantic and/or asexual so  
> yeah  
> also this is the first chapter of my first fic so  
> woohoo  
> ill be uploading new chapters every couple days probably

Jaune knew they would make a great couple. Everyone knew it. They were the only members of team JNPR who had known each other before coming to Beacon. They spent all of their time together, they knew each other's dreams, they fought together like dancing. 

But for some, unknown reason, they still weren't dating.

This was Jaune's mission. He intended to get them together at all costs, by the end of the semester. At the latest.


	2. Jaune is a master of seduction (no trust him just listen)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> phase 1: assess the situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my chapters are short ok you can deal with it please don't hate me

The key was to be smooth and subtle. So of course, Jaune was neither of those things. He sidled up to Nora in a manner he probably thought seemed suave and cool, but really just made him look a little constipated. He began with, "Hey, Nora, can we talk for a second? Alone?"

"Sure, Jaune. What is it?" He beckoned her into an empty side hallway where they could talk.

"Have you ever thought that Ren might... like you?" Smooth, Jaune. She doesn't suspect a thing.

"Of course he likes me, silly! I mean, we've been friends forever. It would be really awkward if he didn't like me!"

"No, I mean like, him having a crush on you." #NailedIt good one Jaune.

"Huh. No, I haven't. That would be kinda weird!"

"Weird? Why is that?" Just keep it cool all right dude.

"I don't know, it would just be weird! Anyway, don't you have classwork to do, Jaune?"

"Ugh, don't remind me. I have like 50 papers to write AND that passage on the history of Dust usage to annotate." Ugh, so much classwork. He hated to think about it.

Later that night, Jaune realized she had completely distracted him. "Embarrassing, self, you should really get some more focus," he muttered. All he could conclude from their aborted conversation was that Nora either didn't have a crush on Ren, was really good at hiding it, or had just not realized her feelings for him yet. Jaune was betting on the last one.

\---

Ren was going to be tougher. Jaune didn't know him very well -- actually, pretty much no one but Nora really knew him at all.  Jaune decided that stealth was required for this particular situation. He would have to snoop through Ren's stuff to see how he felt about Nora, and what might be getting in the way of him asking her out.

Jaune waited until the rest of team JNPR had left to go see the new Spruce Willis movie - he had given the excuse that he was too heartbroken over Weiss turning him down for it to go - and commenced rifling through Ren's (extremely tidy) possessions. 

Not 30 seconds later, the aforementioned dude came back into their room with a "Hey Jaune I just forgot my... scroll. As you are our leader,  Jaune, I trust that you have a very good reason for that." He then grabbed his scroll from  the table and left, leaving Jaune alone with his guilt. He felt as if his mother had just told him she wasn't mad, just disappointed.

Jaune decided to not sneak around behind his team's backs again -- even if it was for a worthy cause.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nora talks with a lot of exclamation points okay she is just a very enthusiastic person please just  
> Also did you notice that sneaky way I avoided writing any dialogue for Ren haha I'm a writer I swear  
> 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> phase 2: the set-up

This would work a lot better if Jaune had a girlfriend. His first idea was to suggest a double date with Nora and Ren, but that would require actually  _having_ a date. However, there was the big dance coming up, and while it wasn't required to go with a partner it  _was_ pretty common practice. he just had to figure out how to suggest that Nora and Ren should go together. As a couple. Just to be clear.

\---

"So, has anyone thought about the dance next weekend? Ya know, for the Vytal festival?"

 

Team JNPR was in their dorm room after a long day of classes, studying. If by "studying" you mean "reading comics and talking."

"I hadn't given it any thought," said Pyrrha. "Is there something we need to think about?"

"Well, you know. If you wanted to.. go with someone, who that person might be... stuff like that,"

"I'm sure we'll go as a group with team RWBY. That should be a lot of fun!"

"So no one has, like, a special someone that they wan to go with? What about you guys, you haven't said anything,"

"I agree with Pyrrha," said Ren. "We should just go with team RWBY."

"Yeah, that sounds super fun!" said Nora.

"You don't think it might be more fun with a date?"

"Jaune, can I talk to you for a second?" Pyrrha interjected.

"Sure, Pyrrha, what is it?"

Pyrrha yanked Jaune aside and muttered,

"What, exactly, are you trying to do, Jaune?"

"W-what are you talking about? I'm just, talking about the dance, and stuff."

"Jaune."

"All right, I might have been.. trying to get Nora and Ren to go to the dance together. But only because it's so obvious that they should!"

"Jaune, I really think that it would be better to let them work it out on their own."

"Pyrrha, c'mon, just let me try. You'll see that they should be together."

"Jaune, just.. don't do anything drastic. I do think you shouldn't get too involved in this. All right, Jaune?"

"All right, Pyrrha. I won't get too involved."

"I'm glad to hear it."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long for me to update, first week of school and all. the next three-or-so chapters should be up soonish? even though its not technically august anymore hahahahahah


End file.
